September 2016
Since getting books published, a number of people have asked me for advice on how to become an author and how to get a book deal. Unfortunately that is a bit like asking a Jewish pensioner to give you advice on how to work the showers in Auschwitz.
I'm not trying to compare the publishing industry to a Nazi concentration camp, I'm simply saying you'd get a very similar reaction. In truth, the publishing industry is dead. The traditional publishers not only made themselves far too exclusive and elitist, they also underestimated the power of the internet and the way people use it. Unfortunately, this has caused problems with sales of paperback books...
From: Hollie Dodson
Sent: September 08, 2016 15:31 PM
To: Eddie Hall
Subject: Reduction of stock
Dear Eddie,
Reduction of stock
We are writing to you about the stock of your book "Let Me Just Say" that we are holding. We agree to hold stock of a title for you for two years under our contract; for titles that have ceased to sell in significant numbers, after two years we have to review the stock and set a realistic stock level moving forward. This is now the situation with your book.
We are happy to retain some copies of your book so that we can keep it available for sale in future, but we cannot now store as many copies. We now need to reduce the stock of your book held in our warehouse.
Your options are as follows:
1. We can send the bulk of your books to you, and retain a small stock here (usually between 10 and 50 copies) to fulfil future retail sales on your behalf.
2. We can withdraw your book from sale and send all of the copies back to you.
3. We can retain a small stock of the book here, send some to you, and/or destroy those remaining.
4. We can withdraw the book from sale and have all the stock destroyed.
I would be grateful if you could let me know within a fortnight what action you wish us to take from the above options to reduce your stock. Many thanks.
Yours sincerely,
Hollie Dodson
From: Eddie Hall
Sent: September 14, 2016 09:21 AM
To: Hollie Dodson
Subject: RE: Reduction of stock
Hi Hollie,
If we can do the same as we did with my first book and you guys keep 50 copies and you can return the rest to me, that would be fine. I mean I've still got hundreds of the bastards at home because no one buys paperbacks these days, it's all e-book sales. Do you know how I can sell shit loads of paperbacks on the cheap? They don't make for very good bog roll. The paper cuts sting.
Many thanks
Eddie
From: Hollie Dodson
Sent: September 14, 2016 15:42 PM
To: Eddie Hall
Subject: RE: Reduction of stock
Hi Eddie,
Thank you for your email.
Would you be happy for us to keep 40 copies of your book in stock? We can then arrange for the remaining copies to be sent to you.
Please let me know if this is OK?
Kind Regards,
Hollie Dodson
From: Eddie Hall
Sent: September 15, 2016 08:13 AM
To: Hollie Dodson
Subject: RE: Reduction of stock
Ah, haggling! I like your style. How about you keep 40 copies and I post half of my personal stock for you to keep?
From: Hollie Dodson
Sent: September 15, 2016 09:29 AM
To: Eddie Hall
Subject: RE: Reduction of stock
Hi Eddie,
We can't take any more of your stock. We need to return stock because, as I'm sure you can understand, we have limited space in our warehouse and those titles that don't sell in sufficient quantities need to make way for new titles.
Kind regards,
Hollie Dodson
From: Eddie Hall
Sent: September 15, 2016 10:02 AM
To: Hollie Dodson
Subject: RE: Reduction of stock
Hi Hollie,
Yeah I completely understand that. I work in a shed and have limited space, mainly due to the huge number of boxes containing my books. Still, they do help insulate the shed in the winter. I'm sure you can understand it gets bloody cold in the winter working in a shed.
Eddie
From: Hollie Dodson
Sent: September 15, 2016 10:12 AM
To: Eddie Hall
Subject: RE: Reduction of stock
Hi Eddie,
So are you happy for us to keep 40 copies and return the rest to you?
Kind regards,
Hollie Dodson
From: Eddie Hall
Sent: September 15, 2016 11:17 AM
To: Hollie Dodson
Subject: RE: Reduction of stock
Hi again Hollie,
I've thought long and hard about it and I think I've come up with a solution that will please everyone: How about you keep 40 copies and I return all of my remaining stock of personal copies to you. I'll just have to make do with slightly less insulation in my shed but it's a small price to pay. I do have some radiators in here but they triple my electricity bill over the winter. Do you have radiators in your warehouse?
Eddie
From: Hollie Dodson
Sent: September 15, 2016 11:25 AM
To: Eddie Hall
Subject: RE: Reduction of stock
Hi Eddie,
No we don't have radiators in our warehouse. I don't think you understand that we cannot take any more copies of your book. We need to return some of the stock to you. We can keep 40 copies here and return the rest to you. We don't require you to send any of your personal stock to us.
Kind regards
Hollie Dodson
From: Eddie Hall
Sent: September 15, 2016 11:32 AM
To: Hollie Dodson
Subject: RE: Reduction of stock
Hi Hollie,
How about you keep all the stock and I give you a personal guided tour of my shed? It's not like a garden shed, it's a proper insulated shed with double glazing and everything. It's a nice shed.
Eddie
From: Hollie Dodson
Sent: September 15, 2016 11:40 AM
To: Eddie Hall
Subject: RE: Reduction of stock
I'm not interested in your shed! If you do not wish to take delivery of the remaining stock we hold for you, we can have it destroyed.
Kind regards,
Hollie Dodson
From: Eddie Hall
Sent: September 15, 2016 11:45 AM
To: Hollie Dodson
Subject: RE: Reduction of stock
You'd destroy books? That's sacrilege! Hitler burned books and look what happened there! Sorry to hear you don't want a guided tour of my shed. I think you'd be quite impressed with it. I have a big desk, two computers, a couple of really nice chairs, three large plants, a running machine, bike, step machine, rowing machine and an entire wall of boxes.
From: Hollie Dodson
Sent: September 15, 2016 11:52 AM
To: Eddie Hall
Subject: RE: Reduction of stock
Are you just winding me up now? Do you want to take delivery of the remaining stock or should I have it destroyed?
From: Eddie Hall
Sent: September 15, 2016 12:01 PM
To: Hollie Dodson
Subject: RE: Reduction of stock
Hi Hollie,
And trophies as well. I've got hundreds of trophies. So many in fact that I keep running out of shelves. That's another reason I want to get rid of some more books so I can get more shelves. I'm not bragging or anything.
From: Hollie Dodson
Sent: September 15, 2016 12:22 PM
To: Eddie Hall
Subject: RE: Reduction of stock
Eddie, if you don't wish to take delivery of the remaining stock we will just have it destroyed. Given your reluctance to take delivery I shall assume this is the course of action you want us to take.
From: Eddie Hall
Sent: September 15, 2016 12:24 PM
To: Hollie Dodson
Subject: RE: Reduction of stock
Hi Hollie,
Fine I'll take delivery of the remaining stock.
From: Hollie Dodson
Sent: September 15, 2016 12:34 PM
To: Eddie Hall
Subject: RE: Reduction of stock
Hi Eddie,
Thanks. I'll arrange for the delivery ASAP.
Kind regards,
Hollie Dodson
From: Eddie Hall
Sent: September 15, 2016 12:48 PM
To: Hollie Dodson
Subject: RE: Reduction of stock
Oh just one question: If you send me the remaining stock you hold, can I send you my remaining stock in exchange?
From: Hollie Dodson
Sent: September 15, 2016 12:50 PM
To: Eddie Hall
Subject: RE: Reduction of stock
No!
